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Brian Jones
Special Assistant

Image of Brian Jones
Name: Brian Alastair Sinclair Jones
Position: Special Assistant to Bruno Delavigne
Nationality: British
Email: brian.jones@delavignecorp.com
Pets: Marvin (Cockatiel)
Cocktail of Choice: Martini (shaken, not stirred)
Hobbies and Interests: Archery, Horseback Riding, Dog Racing, Cocktail Mixing, Counter-intelligence and Espionage, Fox-hunting, Spritzing, Swedish Massage, Interior Decorating, Club Hopping, Electronic Music, Amateur Boxing, Friends (the television show), Friends (the people)


Not much is known about this tall, pale and handsome special assistant, however his presence has caused quite a buzz within the Delavigne offices. Skilled in numerous combat techniques, Jones claims to have been part of the SAS, completing super secret missions for the British government. Jones has also mentioned that he played bass for the self-proclaimed 'greatest rock and roll band in the world', though this too is a source of controversy.

What we do know is this: Brian Jones is British, has well-coiffed hair, and dresses impeccably. He is sensitive and polite, and always knocks before entering. Jones is quite diplomatic, and cites Winston Churchill and Groucho Marx as the two most influential people in his life.

Here is what we don't know: What was Brian Jones doing all those years before joining the Delavigne staff? How does Brian manage to get his hair looking so perfect? Is Brian a spy, sent to infiltrate Delavigne Headquarters? Is Brian in love with Bruno Delavigne, or does he leave chocolates on Bruno's pillow out of his sense of professional duty?

A figure shrouded in mystery and hair spray, Brian Jones is already one of the more intriguing characters on the Delavigne team.

Memorable Quotes

Ta ta. Indeed!
He doesn't even like tea!
Bruno is sick. He needs a comforting hand to stroke him.

Fun Facts

  • Brian Jones has a twin brother named Desmond, who has a barrel at the marketplace.
  • Brian's pet cockatiel, Marvin, is named after Brian's roommate at university.
  • Jones has extensive experience in copying, stapling, organizing and kicking ass.
  • Brian once worked as a bouncer at Caesar's Palace (the casino, not the palace).
  • Brian hates raw tomatoes but loves cooked tomatoes.